“I need a chiropractor, my car doesn’t start” – Tiffy

Yamamai Police Department

Our story starts last week when Rabbi Berger read aloud the new book of rules (see HERE), one of the rules is the Goyishe Music CD’s will be destroyed if found. The staff members are extremely tolerant of this situation and do not confiscate and destroy any Goyishe CD’s. But this Friday the situation changed.

Levi Adelman walks into Meir Lieblich’s room and he is startled to hear a tune he recognized from his old days, a noise emanating from a CD player on Yankee Kopfstien’s lap. The music was loud and the people around were listening to the beautiful song discussing Non-Tznius issues, sung by an Israeli Rap group called “Subliminal”.

Levi immediately removed the CD from Yankee and cracked it on the spot claiming it doesn’t belong in Yeshiva. Yankee got really worked up and angry (as he usually does when he is confronted) and started screaming that since this profanity is sung by a Jew it makes it Jewish song... Levi didn’t seem to agree and stood strong on his position walking out of the room.

Minutes later Mendy Boaron stormed into the room in anger trying to find out what happened to his CD...

The story doesn’t end here. Some people may be wondering what the “headline” has to do with the story, I will not answer the question yet, but keep on reading to find the answer.

Anyways, the story doesn’t end here, Shabbos came along and everyone Davenned well, Yankee keeping his feelings to himself, his face showing a great disgust with the situation. This status quo continued until the soup in the Shabbos meal.

Right after the soup, Yankee started a revolution and made a lot of noise screaming on top of his lungs to Levi that he is not right. The argument went to Rabbi Berger and he supported Levi, albeit not publicly.

Some minutes later a serious deterioration occurred, suddenly Schneur piped in and said: “Cracking a CD will not stop someone from listening to Goyishe Music” seemingly supporting Yankee. This sparked another wave of arguing, pro and con with everyone joining, including Sholom Ber who supported Levi’s action by saying “It wouldn’t stop the Bochur but it will surely purify the dorm...”

When the dust settled and all the wounded were evacuated it was realized that it wasn’t that bad after all, it was only a burned CD, and Yankee was just angry and worked up over a stupidity...

To all those who have wondered what the headline has to do with this article, the answer is that while I was thinking about this article, I was talking with Tiffy and Meir Lieblich walked in, at that moment Tiffy turned to him and said: “I need a chiropractor, my car doesn’t start”