An Experience in Outer Space: Shabbos in YAM
Yamamai News Service
As mentioned in a previous article (HERE) one of Shabbos’s main headlines was the argument between the never-tiring Arguer Yankee Kopfstien and his counterpart, just as tireless, Levi Adelman. But Shabbos isn’t only a time to argue, it is mainly a time to relax, and just this is what the Yeshiva Bochurim did throughout the whole Shabbos starting from Friday Night Bash all the way to Motzoei Shabbos Hockey.
Shabbos started with Rabbi Smith forgetting the cards to mark the time of the Bochurim, a mistake which would cause chaos on Motzoei Shabbos with all Bochurim arguing against Sholom Ber’s phenomenal memory and Rabbi Smith’s amazing memory...
As time passed it was evident that this Shabbos ain’t gonna be a relaxing one for anyone but Benny Schmidt who ditched Ottawa for a more relaxing place.
On Friday Night after the meal Schneur Hayes collected a select group of special Bochurim and took them to his house to Farbreng, without anyone else’s knowledge. This is another one in the series of exclusive Farbrengen for the “Mature Guys”. No wonder Wrubell & Eilenbergaren’t invited...
Sometime later, Berel Hahn made his debut performance in the cold (see separate article, HERE).
Later on that night, Sholom Ber went around and distributed the first of the “The Exhaust Pipe” magazines that re-started coming out this year, including the best articles of the week in Yamamai.Net [To those who don’t remember, last year Zvi came up with the idea of making a weekly publication which will highlight Yeshiva’s best moments, Sholom Ber came up with the name and promised to contribute to its weekly publication. 15 issues later, The Exhaust Pipe stopped coming out as a result of Zvi not being happy with Sholom Ber’s pointy and sharp Judaism articles. Now that Zvi is gone Sholom Ber can do whatever he wants... HAHAHA ZVI!]
Shabbos morning started with a lame Vekker who didn’t know what to do or how to do it, his name is Benny Hershcovich. He woke up late and started Vekking, his method is to wake up a Bochur and tell him: “If you are up, wiggle your pinkie”, everyone did it, but nobody woke up...
The beautiful day started with Gav proving Sruli that Yankee Kopfstien is a barrel of gunpowder ready to explode. The second Yankee rolled into Zal, Gav calls him over and tells him: “Yankee, you are Lorrena’s B—ch”. Yankee flipped out and threatened to kill Gav if he doesn’t stop... Gav turned to Sruli and smiled.
Shacharis went pretty fast, with a beautiful Kriah from Yosl Cylich, the Bar Mitzvah Bochur who turned 16 on Shabbos, and lained his Bar-Mitzvah Parasha. Aside from him, Michoel Weisz also had birthday this Shabbos and he received the first Aliyah available. When he started his Aliya, Sholom Ber went into the Kitchen and returned with a pile of “Potato Stix” bags which were to be thrown at Michael after his Aliyah. Sharp-eyed Bochurim saw a look of dissatisfaction spreading across Rabbi Smith’s face as Sholom Ber entered. Yosl Cylich got the same treatment when he received the next Aliyah.
Maftir was lained by Itzik Eilenberg, who read it very nicely, although without much Tropp. The idea was Gav’s (who doubled as Gabbai, since Shmuli decided to ditch again...) and Sholom Ber approved of it. Shmuel Kardush opposed it on the grounds that
During Mussaf Michael comes out of the Kitchen and calls over Rabbi Smith, after a hushed conversation he quickly follows Michael into the Kitchen to find out that Lorrena’s food has turned into Mexican Cajun Food. The Cholent & Kugel both roasted to perfection, coals to be used for the next Bar-B-Q... It didn’t take long for the Bochurim to figure out what happened, and they all streamed into the Kitchen to see what happened. Suddenly everyone started worrying what will happen, what will they eat, etc.
One person decided to use the opportunity to harass Rabbi Smith, his name was Gav, he decided that Rabbi Smith should be harassed for no food, and he started harassing Rabbi Smith to the point that Rabbi Smith announced: “OK everyone, after the meal come to my house and you can eat Cholent”. Someone else, Mendy Ajszenszmidt decided not to argue but instead to run to Smith’s house to grab a good seat to eat a good meal saying: “I didn’t come here to eat this Sh--" (as if anyone else did...).
After the meal the Bochurim were worried for the poor Rabbi Berger, his wife left toAustralia
So it happens, as Sholom Ber walked in for Maariv Rabbi Berger comes over to him and tells him with a smile: “Sholom Ber, I Farbrenged this afternoon until 3pm!”. Needless to say Sholom Ber was happy that Rabbi Berger kept up his word that he will Farbreng when his wife cannot see him so she doesn’t condemn him...
As mentioned in a previous article (HERE) one of Shabbos’s main headlines was the argument between the never-tiring Arguer Yankee Kopfstien and his counterpart, just as tireless, Levi Adelman. But Shabbos isn’t only a time to argue, it is mainly a time to relax, and just this is what the Yeshiva Bochurim did throughout the whole Shabbos starting from Friday Night Bash all the way to Motzoei Shabbos Hockey.
Shabbos started with Rabbi Smith forgetting the cards to mark the time of the Bochurim, a mistake which would cause chaos on Motzoei Shabbos with all Bochurim arguing against Sholom Ber’s phenomenal memory and Rabbi Smith’s amazing memory...
As time passed it was evident that this Shabbos ain’t gonna be a relaxing one for anyone but Benny Schmidt who ditched Ottawa for a more relaxing place.
On Friday Night after the meal Schneur Hayes collected a select group of special Bochurim and took them to his house to Farbreng, without anyone else’s knowledge. This is another one in the series of exclusive Farbrengen for the “Mature Guys”. No wonder Wrubell & Eilenbergaren’t invited...
Sometime later, Berel Hahn made his debut performance in the cold (see separate article, HERE).
Later on that night, Sholom Ber went around and distributed the first of the “The Exhaust Pipe” magazines that re-started coming out this year, including the best articles of the week in Yamamai.Net [To those who don’t remember, last year Zvi came up with the idea of making a weekly publication which will highlight Yeshiva’s best moments, Sholom Ber came up with the name and promised to contribute to its weekly publication. 15 issues later, The Exhaust Pipe stopped coming out as a result of Zvi not being happy with Sholom Ber’s pointy and sharp Judaism articles. Now that Zvi is gone Sholom Ber can do whatever he wants... HAHAHA ZVI!]
Shabbos morning started with a lame Vekker who didn’t know what to do or how to do it, his name is Benny Hershcovich. He woke up late and started Vekking, his method is to wake up a Bochur and tell him: “If you are up, wiggle your pinkie”, everyone did it, but nobody woke up...
The beautiful day started with Gav proving Sruli that Yankee Kopfstien is a barrel of gunpowder ready to explode. The second Yankee rolled into Zal, Gav calls him over and tells him: “Yankee, you are Lorrena’s B—ch”. Yankee flipped out and threatened to kill Gav if he doesn’t stop... Gav turned to Sruli and smiled.
Shacharis went pretty fast, with a beautiful Kriah from Yosl Cylich, the Bar Mitzvah Bochur who turned 16 on Shabbos, and lained his Bar-Mitzvah Parasha. Aside from him, Michoel Weisz also had birthday this Shabbos and he received the first Aliyah available. When he started his Aliya, Sholom Ber went into the Kitchen and returned with a pile of “Potato Stix” bags which were to be thrown at Michael after his Aliyah. Sharp-eyed Bochurim saw a look of dissatisfaction spreading across Rabbi Smith’s face as Sholom Ber entered. Yosl Cylich got the same treatment when he received the next Aliyah.
Maftir was lained by Itzik Eilenberg, who read it very nicely, although without much Tropp. The idea was Gav’s (who doubled as Gabbai, since Shmuli decided to ditch again...) and Sholom Ber approved of it. Shmuel Kardush opposed it on the grounds that
During Mussaf Michael comes out of the Kitchen and calls over Rabbi Smith, after a hushed conversation he quickly follows Michael into the Kitchen to find out that Lorrena’s food has turned into Mexican Cajun Food. The Cholent & Kugel both roasted to perfection, coals to be used for the next Bar-B-Q... It didn’t take long for the Bochurim to figure out what happened, and they all streamed into the Kitchen to see what happened. Suddenly everyone started worrying what will happen, what will they eat, etc.
One person decided to use the opportunity to harass Rabbi Smith, his name was Gav, he decided that Rabbi Smith should be harassed for no food, and he started harassing Rabbi Smith to the point that Rabbi Smith announced: “OK everyone, after the meal come to my house and you can eat Cholent”. Someone else, Mendy Ajszenszmidt decided not to argue but instead to run to Smith’s house to grab a good seat to eat a good meal saying: “I didn’t come here to eat this Sh--" (as if anyone else did...).
After the meal the Bochurim were worried for the poor Rabbi Berger, his wife left to
So it happens, as Sholom Ber walked in for Maariv Rabbi Berger comes over to him and tells him with a smile: “Sholom Ber, I Farbrenged this afternoon until 3pm!”. Needless to say Sholom Ber was happy that Rabbi Berger kept up his word that he will Farbreng when his wife cannot see him so she doesn’t condemn him...
EXTRA! EXTRA! Ari Eagle opens store on Shabbos!
This Shabbos, an extremely worried and despaired Ari Eagle walks into Zal, in a position which reminds us of one of the Psukim in Parashas VaYechi "שים נא ידך תחת ירכי" (Place your hand under my thigh)... The story was soon clarified, as Ari himself put it: “I was walking down the street when I realized that for some reason my lizard is getting colder by the moment, then I realized that my fly is open... HAHAHA”
posted by Sholom Ber Shuchat @ 1/14/2006 08:55:00 PM
1 comments
1 Comments:
Shuch my man. You know I loved your articles. It was those Leib Morris quotes that got me nervous ;)
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