Shabbos Parshas Vayeitze in YAM

GENERAL REPORT

* We had a special guest for Shabbos, his name is Mr. Sammy Piccaddy, better known as Shmuli Benchemoun, who came specially from Montreal to spend Shabbos with his Ex-Yeshiva.

* Yisroel Bernath & Family came to spend a Shabbos in the city of Ottawa by Rabbi Blum, and visited Yeshiva on Motzoei Shabbos.

* This Shabbos was the Yohrtzeit of Shmuel Kardush’s father, therefore he Davenned for the Omud Maariv, Shacharis, Mussaf, Mincha & Maariv Motzoei Shabbos. Dovi, Brouch & Sholom Ber lained Shacharis. Sholom Ber lained Mincha. On Motzoei Shabbos Rabbi Berger said the itinerary of the Israel trip and a “story from a Tzaddik”.

FRIDAY NIGHT “BASH”!
On Friday night, Sholom Ber was casually walking down the 3rd floor when suddenly he heard Meir & Vince commenting that the floor is shaking and dust is coming down. So Sholom Ber decided to go down and join the conversation, and went down the stairs. As he was going down, Meir commented “Crap, the stairs are shaking”. Vince decided to see if he could do the same...

Vince then proceeded to go upstairs and jump on top of the stairwell causing the fluorescent light on the 2nd floor to shake and start getting loose. After being warned, he stopped jumping and came down. Then Meir Lieblich decided to “check it out” and ended jumping up and down 10-15 times until the fluorescent light fixture started falling off. Then Meir got serious and asked Chaim Hertzl to remove the light so it does not hurt anybody. Chaim complied

We contacted Hudy Slater, General Manager of the Yeshiva for a comment when, and he replied: “I am not fixing it, if they don’t want it falling on their hand they better fix it...”

ARI EAGLE – “A DRUNK SWEETIE”
Since this Shabbos was the Yohrtzeit of Shmuel Kardush’s father, Rabbi Hayes hosted a Farbrengen in his house on Friday night. Schneur invited some Bochurim to go and Farbreng.

One of the people who gets excited every time there is a Farbrengen in Hayes’ house is Ari Eagle, for he always gets plastered טויט שיכור in the house, returning to the Yeshiva, with barely any balance, and making a fool out of himself, providing free entertainment to Yeshiva’s dorm.

This Friday night was no different, Ari went to the Hayes residence with a few more Bochurim, and after getting an unlimited supply of Mashke, he started walking to the dorm. On Carling Ave. there was a troop of police cars checking every car to see if the driver was drunk, and they busted a few, taking away their cars, and arresting them. When Ari passed by them, he was offered a breathalyzer test, but he refused saying he knew he was drunk, “... I mean SOBER!”.

When he reached the dorm he started making a total fool out of himself, refusing to go to bed until he kissed Avrumi Goldfein or Yaakov Lefton. To get his goal he went to A. Goldfein’s room where he made a whole show for 15 minutes which ended with A. Goldein finally managing to get him out of his room and the whole crowd which was following. This was at 11:15pm. The Goldfeins decided that they will use it as an excuse to miss the whole Shabbos day of Seder... Rabbi Smith didn’t fall for it...

Anyways, after going to the bathroom 22 times, and managing to drive Sruli in and out of his wits, he finally hit the sack.

CHAIM AGAINST CHAIM – A EVEN MATCH?
Yeshiva of Ottawa is known for two creatures which have become a fundamental part of Yeshiva and will stay in Yeshiva until they die or the Yeshiva closes down... They are the two Chaims, Chaim “Peewee” Hertzl and Chaim “Koffee” Kaufmann.

On Friday night Peewee decided to act “A Bissel Gayish (א ביסל גוייש)” and did a full fledged “Kidush Levana” (Blessing of the Moon) in the direction of Koffee. Koffee got mad and gave it back to him, kicking his bare part hard.

Peewee doesn’t know how to be a Mentsch and take what he deserves, and decided to take the play fight a step further, and pounded the surprised Koffee with slaps and scratching inflicting some pain. Koffee didn’t budge, so Peewee decided to take it a step further and punched Koffee in the eye, causing him a black eye, and much unnecessary frustration.

The Ottawa Police Department has notified Yamamai of an investigation in process checking whether Peewee should be hospitalized or deported...

SHMULI KARDUSH + SMIRNOFF 50% + TIFFY = ONE BIG MESS!
After Shacharis Shmuel announced that at 4:00pm he will be hosting a mini-farby in Yeshiva where he will farbreng in honor of his father’s yohrtzeit.

As the afternoon came to a close, Shmuli pulled a bottle of Smirnoff 50% (100 proof), the blue or black bottle, and started pouring out to Bochurim and himself, getting himself and the bochurim plastered beyond recognition. As Maariv approached, he decided he wanted to Daven for the Omud, and gave the bottle of Mashke to Tiffy who was A Shtikkel Tipsy, and headed for the Omud.

At the Omud he gave various speeches during davenning, we had a special running commentary about the importance of Davenning, starting with a blessing to every Bochur in Yeshiva “You should all have Chassidishe wifes and Chassidishe Children!”.

As davenning neared the end, he requested from Tiffy the bottle, and as he was about to grab it, the bottle slipped on the ground and shattered, wasting some two cups of Mashke.

Right before the last Kaddish he said a small speech which got Rabbi Berger angry and the Rabbi demanded he say Kaddish immediately. Shmuel did not comply...