NEWS FLASH: Preliminary report of Rabbi Klein’s Farby

Yamamai News Service

Tonight, as we talk, a phenomenal Farbrengen is occurring with Rabbi Dov Hillel Klein. We are pleased to present you with some snippets of Rabbi Klein’s interesting Farbrengen, things which were said until now. We will report later with more updates, and some pictures...

To Shmuli Kalatchy: “The Rebbe had blue eyes. Why aren’t your eyes blue? Why are they brown? You know why, because you are so full of crap its coming out the front”.

To Mendy Boaron: “You are a DIB, you sure know that DIBS take a shower with their underwear on, so they accomplish two things at once, they wash their underwear and they [think they are] washing their body, that’s why all DIBS stink... Whenever I go to Israel [and I go three times a year] I bring them a present, its called Right Guard...”.

About the upcoming Israel trip Rabbi Berger is dreaming about: “You guys are planning to go to Israel. In Israel you know there are some serious issues, you are not allowed to take care of your natural calls facing the place of the Beis HaMikdosh, especially not in Yerusholayim, so you will be walking around all confused with where to take care f your nescesities... I am sure that you all can ask Rabbi Berger once you are in Israel what to do... In Yerusholayim they have these Chareidi spies which check which direction you are facing when you are wiping, and if you wipe with your Tuchis facing the Beis HaMikdosh they will throw stones at you... You surely will have fun there”.

More about Israel: “In Israel you know they all wear round fur hats. Did you ever play Frisbee with a fur hat? I did, it’s a lot of fun, when you are in Israel you should go to Meah Shearim and do it, and try to see how many times you can send this fur hat as a Frisbee while the residents are throwing stones at you for desecrating their peace”.

He said the following is his favorite line, his Motto: “Wake up and die right!”.

A story about his driving: “I was once driving down the highway and I realized a cop car was chasing me so I started speeding to get away from him, suddenly I realized he is close to me so I started going faster and faster until the cop finally caught up to me and pulled me over. The cop asked me: “Why were you speeding?” so I answered “Because last time a cop came he took my wife”. The cop asked: “And therefore?” so I answered: “I was scared that you are pulling me over to return her to me...”.

More to come...