Lazaroff Repeats Suicide Attempt

Our one and only (authorized) barber in Yeshiva, Shmuli Lazaroff, is famous for giving perfect haircuts, trimming at exactly the right places at exactly the right times. Problem is that Shmuli decided to abuse his position, and try and kill the staff members he dislikes (reason unknown). So when last week, Sholom Ber got a haircut from Shmuli he came back with quite a few razor cuts on his neck, and blood on his shirt. When he asked Shmuli about it, Shmuli answered "The best barber gives the best cuts...". Sholom Ber attributed it to sheer carelesness.

But last night, Berel Zaklikovsky (undoubtely the least hated staff member in Yeshiva) decided to make the mistake of his life and get a haircut bu Shmuli, he returned to Yeshiva with cuts and bruises on his neck. He (who is very naive) attributed it to a machinery failure, but we know the real reason: Shmuli likes to cut people...

Upon hearing this, Mendy Ajzsenszmidt commented "That's why I decided to break Shmuli's business by going to Schneur to get a haircut".

We were not able to get a comment from Shmuli, but we know he gave it over the head to Schneur...